News
Amy & Zoe's Story
Thursday 14 April 2011
Parents’ breakups can, for many children and young people, have devastating affects on their young lives, causing confusion and uncertainty.
Amy and Zoe were two little girls whose lives were chaotic and confusing when they came to CHILDREN 1ST. Their parents were separated, not on speaking terms, and the girls stayed with either parent whenever they wanted, with neither parent taking responsibility for setting any boundaries for their children.
The girls had been forgotten in the trauma of the separation, and they were reacting badly: Amy who was 9 years old was not coping at school, bullying other children, and falling behind in her school work; while Zoe, aged 12, was fighting so hard with her mum it often ended in one of them getting hurt. They badly needed some stability.
CHILDREN 1ST advised that a Family Group Conference could help. Family Group Conferences have been pioneered by CHILDREN 1ST. They work to bring together families where there are concerns about a child, to help and encourage families to find their own solutions to difficulties and to work out how best to care for their children.
At the Family Group Conference Amy, Zoe, their mum and dad and other important family members were able to sit down, talk, and most of all, listen to each other. Amy and Zoe had a volunteer advocacy worker from CHILDREN 1ST to help them express their views and to support them throughout the meeting. Crucially, the girls were able to express how they felt about the fact their parents seemed to have forgotten about them.
During a very emotional meeting, the girls’ parents realised that they had to put Amy and Zoe first, and communicate with the girls and each other about the well-being of their daughters. The time had come to make decisions together about which parent the girls were going to stay with and when, and to start agreeing boundaries with the girls.
This meeting and all the preparation that had preceded it with the family enabled the girls to get the attention they so badly needed, and it made all the difference. Amy and Zoe’s parents are now on speaking terms and share the parenting of their children. The girls feel safe, they’ve become settled, and know that whichever home they are in, it’s a stable environment. Amy is now doing extremely well in school, and Zoe is getting on much better with her mum.
The CHILDREN 1ST Family Group Conference focused the girls’ parents on their children again, making sure that no matter what happens in their new family set-up, their mum and dad will always put Amy and Zoe first.
Could you help more young people like Amy and Zoe get the attention of their mum and dad in a positive way? Please give a donation to CHILDREN 1ST to help us to support Scotland’s vulnerable children and young people.
Last updated: Thursday 14 April 2011
