Children's needs at different stages in life

My brain changes dramatically during adolescence. Patterns formed in my early years change and I will turn to my friends rather than my parents.

You might want to look after me more than I want to be looked after. But I still need to know that I have adults like you to help me manage feelings and stress.

The emotional parts of my brain are in charge so my behaviour is often driven by my feelings than by thinking straight.

I still really need loving relationships with calm and controlled adult brains. This helps me learn to manage my own feelings which can feel overwhelming. I need you to stay calm so that I can learn how to do that by myself. I need to know that it's ok to feel these strong feelings because they can be frightening.

The changes I am going through are stressful. But I know I need to learn to be an adult and I desperately don't want to let you down or feel like a child, even when I feel unsafe or overwhelmed. 

I can be impulsive and this makes my behaviour and moods seem erratic. Even though it may seem as if I am ruled by my feelings, I still need caring relationships at home to help me to let off steam and manage the changes that are happening in my brain, my body and my social life.

Risky behaviour can be really good fun. My brain also loves novelty. 

You give me chances to explore new things, enjoy new experiences and to practise things I am good at.

I am more likely to explore the world in new ways if it’s ok to say sorry and make up with you when I don’t get things right.